A Day in the Life of a (Satirical) Beauty Blogger

Hello readers!

I’ve decided to do something a little different with this post…instead of reviewing unique beauty products that I have acquired from friends, such as wax ears, I will be writing about a day in the life of a beauty blogger! The special day I am writing about is Sunday, July 24th, 2016, to be precise.

Morning: Wake up in the morning, feeling like P-Diddy  quite groggy, around 9:00 am. My parents came up to visit me for half the day (with groceries!), so I had to set an alarm, because I was afraid I would over-sleep otherwise.  Brushed my teeth, used the toilet, ate breakfast, changed out of my pajamas and did other typical morning things.

Late Lunch (~2:30 pm): I ate udon noodles with a Chinese vegetable that I don’t know the name of in English. It’s a leafy green vegetable with some purple on it (someone help a sister out please?). My parents then left Waterloo, to drive back home while I continued eating noodles. I’m pretty sure I ate a croissant after the noodles as well because of how late this lunch was.

Afternoon: Spent a few hours in the afternoon writing a take home, international tax exam. I submitted it later that night because at that point, I had spent about 12 hours on it over the past three days, was ready to be done with it. After reading the past three paragraphs, I have come to the realization that my life isn’t incredibly exciting. You have probably also come to the very same realization.

Evening: Ah now onto the exciting part of the day! My friend, Stephanie Lau, had a free Menchies coupon that entitled her to one, free small bowl of frozen yogurt and assorted toppings. So we went HAM and piled up the small bowl. To make an informed froyo decision, I had to sample all of the flavours at Menchies, but almost every time I tried using the sample cup (probably about the size of the top half of your thumb but a bit wider…those tiny paper cups you make jello shots in), way too much froyo would come out of the machine and it would be a froyo mess. One of the many trials and tribulations of getting frozen yogurt at Menchies. And this was only Part I of the great froyo struggle. 

Part II of the great froyo struggle: Steph and I like different flavours of froyo. I like the fruity flavours at Menchies, while Steph enjoys weird shit like “tart” (seriously, what the hell is tart). We had to segregate these flavours in the bowl, which apparently became a two-person job. One of us pulled down on the lever that dispensed the froyo while the other was in charge of bowl rotation. Once we got this sorted out, we put on a whole variety of tasty toppings from strawberries to a Nanaimo bar. I think if we tried putting on anything else, it would have just fallen out of the bowl…

Free frozen yogurt has never tasted so good (although this was the first time I ate free froyo though, so not much of a comparison can be made…)

Nighttime: Once we finished the frozen yogurt, we walked back to Steph’s apartment for some serious nail art action. She painted corgis on my nails!!!!! But later that evening, despite my best efforts, I managed to smudge two corgis 😦

Still considering hand-modeling. The pinky and thumb have a paw-print design on them while the rest of them are corgi faces! 

Then I got really giddy (maybe it was because of all the blue raspberry froyo I ate) and insisted on trying to do Steph’s makeup. She was not impressed.

Lipstick is hard to put on other people. I swear I can put it on my own face perfectly fine. 

Not shown above (unfortunately): I was using Steph’s eyebrow pencil. She already has eyebrows so I tried giving her a unibrow because I didn’t know what else to do. And about 1/3 of the way in, Steph realised what I was doing, recoiled in fear and did not let me finish. She got a little upset, so I asked, “what about a mustache?” You can probably guess what her answer was.

Before leaving, I got to choose between two soaps to take back home with me (Steph also told me to take an eyebrow pencil but I politely informed her that I already had eyebrows). It took me ten minutes to decide between these two scents: energizing lime or strawberry vanilla. So did I want to smell like a Mojito or strawberry shortcake?  I wanted to smell like a Mojito. But it was not an easy decision. It took an entire ten minutes to decide because I am very indecisive.

I kept unscrewing the caps to smell them. 

Sleep: After choosing between the two soaps, I walked back to my apartment, showered, brushed my teeth, flossed (dental hygiene is very important and I take pride in the fact that I floss daily),  and went to bed.

And that wraps up my day! The first half really was not relevant to being a beauty blogger at all…in fact, if you are serious about beauty blogging, I advise against taking International Tax (ACC 610) as it was a huge time suck and a poorly organized course. And it contained no helpful tips about beauty blogging whatsoever. But do make time to see your parents, even if you are busy with beauty blogging. Especially if they bring you groceries.

So despite my current beauty blogging success, I still lead a pretty normal student life. After all, I’m no hero. I put my bra on, one boob at a time, like everyone else.