Wax Ears That Do Not Function as Soap

Hello everyone!

This week, I will be reviewing wax ears (literally, wax in the shape of ears), that I tried using as soap.

Pretty ear-like, if I do say so myself.

The story behind why I have wax ears in the first place:

My roommate, Matt, has a friend who pays $20 CAD on a monthly basis, to receive boxes of random, miscellaneous items. I’m not sure what company this is from specifically, and I think Matt is playing video games with his cousin so I don’t want to interrupt. He’s a very busy man. Why anyone would want to pay $20 to receive random, useless crap, is beyond me, but to each their own. Anyways, one of the miscellaneous items happened to be a necklace of wax ears. Matt’s friend gave him the necklace and Matt randomly showed it to me one day when we were hanging out in the apartment.

At first, Matt said that the ears are actually supposed to be soap, but he feels weird using wax ears to cleanse himself. So I decided to test it out for myself, and used the ears to wash my hands. That turned out to be a mistake. It smelled really strange (kind of like earwax?) and my hands did not feel any cleaner. If anything, they felt less clean afterwards.

When I told Matt about this unpleasant experience, his response was “oh, maybe they aren’t soap then. I don’t know.”

I am confirming that these wax ears are indeed, not soap. They are just wax ears.

I have no idea what to do with the wax ears. Maybe wear them around as a fashion accessory? See below for wax ear glamour shots.

Yes ladies, he is single.

Who wore it better? Wax ears edition.

Rating: As soap, this product deserves a negative rating. -14/10. In fact, it probably did the exact opposite as what soap is actually supposed to do and this is coming from a soap expert, based on my prior blog posts. On the other hand, they are a solid 10/10, for being wax ears.  And a 4/10 for being a fashion accessory…but I’m not very fashionable, so what do I know. They might actually be a 12/10 and featured in this year’s New York Fashion Week (pictures from last year’s New York Fashion Week shown below, with some artistic liberties/much needed improvements).

Aha I knew something was missing from his outfit.

It looks like he slathered lotion onto himself before leaving for work in the morning and forgot to do everything else. Like put on pants. I don’t get fashion.

Photos taken from a BBC article. Photos altered by me, using MS Paint.

My Recommendation: I really don’t know why anyone would want to own a necklace of wax ears.

I tried thinking of some sort of conclusion for this blog post, but it’s 11:23 pm and I am very tired. So this will do. Thanks for reading everyone!